Sunday, 12 February 2017

Don't be a bitter single!

January is now long-gone, many have survived dry January, Veganuary and maybe even paid off some debts from Christmas. I feel that January was a very positive month for me - learning new hobbies to take up in my free-time, working towards goals in volunteering and learning to drive again after a  long 10 month break (some women have babies in that time). There is much more that was enjoyed as discussed here in my last post about my goal progress for the year. However for those who weren't as lucky, the January blues are truly over!

As February is upon us, I thought like many bloggers I'd discuss Valentine's Day, but as a single woman of 24, I don't wish to pretend I like it. Not because I'm a bitter single and wish to be spoilt by a man like many others will be. I can assure you that I strongly believe in true love, fate and romance as cheesy as that sounds. 

If a secret admirer felt like sending me a card or a thoughtful gift, I wouldn't reject it, but at the same time, why wait until Valentine's Day? If you like, love or care for someone, surely you should be making them feel valued every single day.

Here are 5 reasons I'm glad to be single on one of the most romantic days of the year:

1. I don't want to settle!
Photo credit: Google Search













Despite how that sounds, this doesn't apply to many people. It doesn't apply to any of my friends, who are happily married or engaged. It doesn't apply to any couples in my immediate family. However, you do hear of people settling for someone treating them rubbish because they don't want to be alone for occasions like this. Some people even choose to date to avoid being alone for the occasion. The same might apply to birthdays or Christmas.

2. Rather no relationship than a bad one!





















I've not found the right person, but maybe I will. However I'm glad I'm not wasting a year with the wrong person. Why waste it with someone who doesn't appreciate your weird and wonderful quirks? Why be with someone who doesn't appreciate the things that matter, or who doesn't have the same values?

3. The pressure










It has become such a big thing now. You need to go out to be in a restaurant that seems to charge double what they might already have done the day or week before. You have to buy the perfect gift. You need to think of a lovely romantic gesture. Why bother? I have only spent one Valentine's Day as a couple and simply exchanged cards and bought thoughtful gifts. It felt a bit forced. Surely spontaneous and unexpected romantic gestures are less stressful and more exciting! Put it this way, if every man/woman proposed because they were told they needed to at a certain time, would it be as memorable and romantic? It's romantic as it comes unexpected and from someone you really love (under the right circumstances, of course).

4. Crowds
I dare you to say this doesn't look like a love heart!






















While picking the perfect gift, card, or going out on that fateful day. It is bonkers! This year, I hope mum chooses to show me she loves me through food. This was a picture taken an ordinary day making me my tea/dinner.

5. No expectations












Even if you say you don't expect anything, it's hard not to be disappointed if you don't celebrate in some way. However as a single person, I genuinely have no expectations. It will be an ordinary day. As it is a day off work, I will probably walk my dogs, promote the blog on social media where I can, read a book and perhaps binge on some films. 

There are also several things that irritate me about the day:

1. The singles

































Yes, I know. You have read right; I'm single and hate other singles. Why? Because a lot don't appreciate it as a day like mother's day or father's day. Just because you're not a mother or father, you don't envy those who have children who spoil them. So why moan on social media about being single? Why become so desperate? Appreciate what you have. Don't get me wrong, I have days where I'd love someone to cuddle, share my secrets with and to love/be loved. However why should I spend one day every year being miserable about it?

2. A day about love doesn't celebrate all kinds

















It is a day to celebrate love and bring about romance, but why not celebrate other types of love? Love for your pets, children, family, friends and neighbours. Why not encourage people to show love and care for others, or even help people in the community.

3. The overindulgence
Photo credit: LA Times (wordpress blog)













I can't help but find it cute when friends describe what they're doing. Despite how singles, I'm not in any way envious. I don't want to date them or their partner. I probably wouldn't even celebrate it in the same way. However I find they celebrate it in different ways; personal to their relationship and in ways that show real care. Baking a favourite cake,  buy something their partner wouldn't treat themselves to or simply buying something that shows an "in" joke. This being said, it's not Christmas; it's not their birthday, but people will send hundreds on things for this romantic occasion. To me, it's utterly overindulgent. That money could be spent on many more valued things like giving to charity, saving for a mortgage, buying a car or even a nice holiday.

4. The discomfort of others
Photo credit: Life of a Doctor's Wife (blog - wordpress)














I try not to bring it up too much to couples because they tend to put their foot in it. They will say things like "you'll meet someone soon" or "I don't understand why you've not found someone. You're so lovely." Their heart is in the right place, so I just smile and nod. To them, it's perhaps a special day, but to me it's just any other day. I've not dedicated the day to mourn that I am single despite popular belief.

5. The consumerism
Picked red this week and didn't even plan to! 






















I suppose it's like Christmas or any occasion. It is advertised everywhere from billboards, TV, print or radio. It feels like Christmas is over and the Valentine's Day ads are then on! You then can't escape red hearts, cuddly toys, chocolate boxes dedicated to Valentine's Day and everything red, pink or heart related!

In the spirit of my post, don't pity me for being single; don't feel I'm being too negative. This is meant  more with jest as I would never want ANYONE to have a bad day. I hope every married or committed person has a lovely day, and those singles don't become an annoying stereotype!
















Let me know what you think of Valentine's Day. Is it an over-consumerised event or another way to celebrate love? 

105 comments:

  1. I think Valentine's Day is what you make it. It's definitely hella commercialized, but I think you can enjoy it without giving in to the pressure around it. And good for you for not settling!!!!

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    1. Like you say, it's what you make of it. X

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  2. What a great post! I'm going to spend Tuesday with my kitten showing him how much I love him.

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    1. Aww that's cute. I'd love a kitten. Dogs are getting bigger! X

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  3. Haha you are so positive...being single is such a great thing in its own way...no worries no expectations JUST being in love yourself <3 I am married and still love myself alottttt 😜

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  4. I honestly don't think about Valentines day at all, I think it's important to just be romantic and caring everyday, more importantly it's so important to show yourself lots of love and affection, especially when you're single! great post :) xx

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    1. Great way to look at it! Aww thank you 😊 x

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  5. As a single man I totally agree that there is too much pressure on us just for the sake of the day. I think I'm always romantic and don't need a single day out of the year to prove it. I choose to be single for now... something only other happy singles can appreciate... Rich B

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  6. I am single and have no problems with that. What a inspiring post! R

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  7. haha agree with every point in this post! I'll be celebrating V-day with a friend :)

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    1. Glad you can relate 😊 Have a good one! X

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  8. I loved this post. To be honest, although I'm married, we don't celebrate Valentine's day. It's all about consumerism, like you've said!

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    1. Yeah there is plenty of occasions to be romantic if and when you want. Why Valentine's Day when you're told to? X

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  9. Great post. You're right that there is a lot of commercialism and set expectations—more from society. I don't understand why people who love one another need to have a specific day to do that nor why they are "required" to buy expensive gifts, flowers, go out to fancy dinners, et cetera.

    Last year, I learned that some countries/cultures celebrate Valentine's Day differently. My daughter-in-law is from South Korea. I was surprised when my son first explained it to me and told me how she was getting him chocolate for Valentine's Day and he didn't have to get her anything. Koreans don't just have Valentine's Day. They have twelve "love days" in the year and celebrate one on the 14th day of each month. On February 14th, the women give the men chocolate and/or other gifts. March 14th (white day), the men give the women white chocolate and/or other gifts.

    They even have a set day for single people. April 14th (black day) is for single people to eat Jjajyangmyeon (Black Noodles) with other single friends.

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    1. Wow other cultures and countries come across as way cooler! X

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  10. Nice post! Am married and we didn't really celebrate valentines day even when we were dating.. but since the last couple of years the kids are like "happy valentines day mommy and daddy - we love you" and do up some hand made cards.. it feels special and I whip up their favourite food so we kinda celebrate it our own way... but yes i strongly feel it is over commercialized!!!

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    1. What a great way to celebrate personal to you x

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  11. I totally agree with your reasons why you're glad to be single. Other than a few small blips I was single for 6 years because I didn't want to settle for anyone. I don't like the consumerism behind Valentines Day rgeardless of whether I'm single or not x

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    1. Yeah it's nuts. I think you can often learn more about yourself being single x

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  12. I agree that you wait for the right one, rather than just settling. There's plenty of time.

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    1. Yeah think you really appreciate it when the right person does come along x

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  13. I'm single as well and completely agree with your reasons for being single x

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  14. Even though I'm in a relationship we don't really celebrate it because I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day, and these are basically all the reasons why :)

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    1. I know when in relationship was nice to do something but no different than a nice date or time together x

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  15. That is so true! There is no need to have someone for valetine´s day... I mean, we were born alone right?

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    1. Yeah never thought of it like that lol x

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  16. Because Valentine's day is what I call a "Hallmark holiday" my husband and I don't celebrate it. Instead we try to do little things all through out the year to show that we still love one another. Rather than spending a lot of money on V-Day we do dinner or a movie or something just the two of us at least once a month every month.

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  17. Yes to everything you've mentioned! I have been in a relationship for 9 years, but Valentine's Day isn't a holiday we really celebrate. We show our love for each other every day of the year so when Valentine's Day comes around, there's no reason to go all out.

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    1. That's generally how I feel like the occasion x

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  18. Totally agree with what you are saying! In my opinion Valentine's Day is over commercialised, me and my partner don't celebrate it

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  19. I'm married but I'll most likely be spending Valentines Day with my cat having some chocolate since that's more or less all the day is for me, an excuse to eat chocolate lol.

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    1. Haha! Always up for more chocolate 😊😘

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  20. I totally agree, I've never really properly celebrated Valentine's Day as i just think it's a massive marketing ploy! You should show your love all year round! xo

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    1. Yeah it seems that way and spontaneous love is nicer x

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  21. I am 45 and single and just ignore Valentine's Day! I share the love with my wonderful 4 children. Kaz x

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    1. Aww that must be a love much stronger x

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  22. Number 2 is soooo true! Valentines Day is an old thing, it's nice to have a reminder to love yourself and those close to you. x

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  23. I'm happily married, but I totally agree with you on every point. It's quite pathetic to 'settle' just so youre not alone, and it's not good for anyone! But I love that you wrote people should just appreciate it like mothers day or fathers day, even if youre not a parent. It's just a day in the end, there's no need to be so anti vday!

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    1. Yeah I don't think it's bad. Bit excessive in parts but great x

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  24. Same here, I would rather be alone then be with someone that does not make me happy. I have learnt from my mistakes!

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  25. Such an inspiring post - I feel like everything is hearts and flowers at this time of year and if you'e single it makes you feel rubbish! You should definitely celebrate being single and not apologise for it!

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  26. You are right, definitely better no relationship than a bad one and my girls feel Valentines is for all kinds of love, so they have been making my hubby and I cards for tomorrow. Mich x

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    1. Aww that's really cute way to learn about it x

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  27. Great post. Even I'm single but i love to spend the day with my family.

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  28. I'm married I don't even remember what it feels like to be single, lol. We don't do the whole Valentine's Day thing it so way overboard. I mean spending all that money on stuff that will give you pleasure for a short time. But to each it's own right? Enjoy being single if that's what makes you happy.

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  29. What a refreshing post! I'm married and we don't do St Valentines (unless you count him being the patron saint of epilepsy, that is). My view is that any relationship should be about making hte other person feel as loved and special as you can 365 days a year, not waiting until Clintons has their stock in.

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    1. Very true. Love isn't a one day thing x

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  30. I am of the mind that you don't need a special day to show your love to each other, I do believe Valentine's Day is too commercialised. I also don't think that anyone should be upset about being single on Valentine's Day or date simply to be with someone on Valentine's Day. If Valentine's Day is to be a day about love, there are all sorts of love to celebrate, not just romantic love x

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    1. I agree! Single is the worst thing and so many act like it is x

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  31. I have been married and divorced twice and I have learned after 18 years of marriage that I am much happier single

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    1. Exactly! People act like it's the worst thing x

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  32. We did't do much this Valentine's Day then again we have three children but I think that spoiling a loved one shouldn't be just once a year it should be random and all the time ;-)

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    1. Definitely! It feels almost put on if it's just once a year x

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  33. I love these tips so much! My favorite one was "Don't have expectations". I didn't this year and I am so much happier! Happy Valentine's Day!

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    1. I think it is a must. Glad you enjoyed reading x

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  34. I don't think being single should be seen as a negative thing at all. Great tips.

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    1. Yeah I agree, it is too often! Glad you enjoyed reading 😊 x

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  35. Totally agree about the consumerism. I've been with my OH for ten years but much prefer showing each other appreciation when we feel like it, and not just on a specific day.

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    1. Yeah I think that can make it more meaningful. Remembering birthdays mean more to me x

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  36. I think that love should be celebrated all year round so no V-Day for me.

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  37. I like your reasons! I personally feel like Valentines Day should be celebrated however the couple wish. It can be over commercialised definitely, but if a couple use it as an extra excuse to spoil each other and have date night, that's cool. And if a couple don't wish to celebrate as they feel they should show each other they love each other every single day, thats cool too. :) We usually buy presents, but this year we just did cards. :)

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    1. I totally agree. I think it's too commercial but honestly find it cute and interesting to see/hear what others do x

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  38. Whilst I'm not single myself, I wholeheartedly agree with your reasons - I have many friends who are single and feel the same way

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    1. Glad you enjoyed reading 😊 no point being miserable about it x

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  39. I really enjoyed reading your post, and whilst I am not single I certainly agreed with some of your thoughts. Definitely better to be in no relationship than a bad one!

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    1. I see how many tempted to or who do and don't realise it x

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  40. I am not a fan of Valentine's Day. My fiance and I don't celebrate it since we don't need one over commercialised day to say we love each other

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    1. I don't think it always was so crazy x

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  41. I agree, it is so much better to not be in a relationship, than in a toxic one..

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    1. Being single can be better in many ways x

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  42. I've never bothered with Valentines Day, single or not, it's never been an important day in my calendar

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    1. I doesn't seem real to me but so many celebrate it now x

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  43. This is wonderful! I love your outlook on self-love. I've always loved Valentine's Day for ALL the loved ones in my life; friends, family, etc!

    Xo,

    Megan at Lush to Blush

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    1. Never seen or celebrated in a non-romantic way. It's nice but not something anyone I know/have known to do. Grandparents used to get me cards when younger but that's about it x

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  44. I actually think valentines is more exciting when single- there's that prospect of going out with friends and having a good night and perhaps meeting someone.. the anticipation of that I find much more thrilling lol. x

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  45. Valentines day frustrating to me and has been when I've been single and in a relationship. There is SO much hype and pressure that it loses it's meaning. Maybe that's just me?!

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    1. I can aee how you might feel that way x

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  46. love it, such a good post! I've been in a relationship for the past 7 years and not celebrated once single valentines day with my current partner - do i miss it - NOT AT ALL. Like you say, over commercialised nonsense xoxo

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    1. Everyone is different but don't really get it x

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  47. I agree with a lot of points you have made here - I'm 25 & single, not wanting to settle at my first is me all over!

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  48. I find Valentine's is so over consumerised and there is so much expectation that it should feel better than other days when you're in a relationship. But to be honest the best Valentine's days I've had were when I spent them with my single friends (don't tell my boyfriend).

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    1. That's lovely and shows there are all kinds of special love x

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  49. I treat valentines day as a normal day. it's something I've never been fond of whether I'm single or in a relationship.

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    1. It is just another day and people can put a lot of emphasis on it x

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  50. Consumerism has become a big part of Valentine's Day. Also I agree with your point about the singles.

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    1. It is a bit mad and singles do irritate me despite being one lol x

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  51. Other than bloggers I don't know anyone who actually does anything on valentines day. I can't say I ever thing about it in a negative way as a single person more of the over commercialisation but feel i'd be the same in a relationship

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    1. Yeah i didn't particularly positive even as a relationship. It doesn't seem overly relevant x

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  52. I often feel a bit guilty around Valentine's Day that we don't do more to celebrate it. I know there are so many people that would love to be cherished & we shouldn't take each other for granted. Thanks for the reminder.

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    1. It's about what makes you happy and comfortable 😊

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  53. I always have my nails painted, can't bare them being nude. It makes me feel so much more feminine!

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